September comes, and I'm sure will go with head spinning swiftness. Not only do I have my first Gallery show coming up the first week of October, the 6th to be exact, But October 1st is my deadline for my newest graphic short story. it is called Two White Horses. This is derived from what I believe to be an old Appalachian folk tale. Years ago when in I was in collage at UT Austin, I caught a PBS special, Storytellers. On that show was the most captivating storyteller I had ever heard. Her name was Jackie Torrance. this is 26+ years ago! The story she told has been with me ever since. I've wanted to put this story into comic form for some time but was waiting for my abilities to grow to do it justice. The opportunity came for me to put this to pen only a few weeks ago. I hope that it will be included in an anthology that Barry and Jenni Gregory of Ka-Blam! are putting together called Dark Mischief. The other artists on this book are SO incredible! Among them Dani Jones, Mark Rudolph, Kim Holm, Mitch Byrd AP Futado, Dave Flora, I mean really exceptional talent. I am so flattered to be included, and hopefully this story will be. Not only that, but APE is on the 1st & 2nd og Oct. AHHH! anyway, like I say September is going to fly by and when it has I hope to be in a better place in my professional Art carrier. Here are the first 10 pages of Two White Horses to Whet your appetite for what i hope will be one of my best works yet.
To get the rest of the story, be sure to watch for the availability of Dark Mischief, soon from Indyplanet.com
I hope it makes it in and even if it doesn't, I'm a thinking I will make it available other wise. Thanks for having a look!
Oh wow, Sam. So was she in a coma or something? The story was very touching, then terrifying, then shocking. And it all read very clearly, the only things I noticed were in the graphics. Like on page 5, the little girl's eyes look askew same with the dad's eyes in the middle of page 10...on is touching the bottom eyes and the other touches the top. They should both touch the top or the bottom. in the last panel. The cemetary sign...is it words cut out of metal? I think you could do more to give the cut outs more of a 3d look. I love the bit with the rose...in the last panel, though, the rose almost looked like blood to me. I like your use of color...very cool. The contrast between the father and daughter on page 15 is awesome. The face on 17 needs some more polish as a close up...actually there are several moments I thought the faces could use a bit more work. And sometimes the characters almost looked like different people - just subtley though...I bet they won't take you too long to polish up. Also, I think you could find some fonts that match the story better. Most of them seem a bit too cartoony, where I think you could have pick some that are more precise with serifs and maybe have sort of a Transylvanian look to them. The font where she says "Jim. Jim" is just right! Oh, just a bit of dialogue feedback, the line about "tonsil from a testicle" doesn't seem appropriate at that moment - twas a bit jarring. I think you could come up with something better. Oh, on page 16, her last line say thik when it should say think....actually, I think you could cut that and just have her say "Jim..." and then continue on the next page, "...I was there...awake and aware." And overall, I just love the way you told the story - what you chose to show - and the meaning of the two white horses. Great story choice. The last thing you wrote on page 19...that was a bit confusing to me....I think it almost needs a panel all its own...maybe have it in black letters and separate it from the last panel in another thin, black panel - something to help us understand you are speaking from future tense. You could also add "..." to the begging of that sentence.
ReplyDeleteAgain, well done and thanks for letting me read the whole thing. Keep it up!
Oops. another typo. Your last panel says "scramed" instead of "screamed". Page 16, you have barried instead of Burried. Also on that page, I didn't even noticed the text on his shirt...it's hard to read. Those were things I noticed quickly while looking it over again.
ReplyDeleteThank you Mr Scott! I really appreciate the feed back! I've one more page to do to wrap it up and time to fiddle with a few things. Your the best buddy!
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